The E! Fashion Police on trial

The accused: Joan Rivers, Kelly Osbourne, Guiliana Rancic, and George Kotsiopoulos, who's a bit of a non-entity so I won’t focus on him too much. These people rip into every part of a ‘celebrity’ whether they’re at an awards show or the supermarket. Every time I watch I think who made them the experts?!!!

Please bear in mind, this post has been written to mirror their harsh style of critiquing. I think it’s time the Fashion Police got a taste of their own medicine so, I'm turning the tables...

I call them the Women with Weird Faces - 'WWFs'. There’s Guiliana (who is the best of a bad bunch and the only one I warm to) with her ‘space-age’ forehead; Kelly, with her ‘storing nuts for winter cheeks’ and then there’s Alien face Joan!….

Take a look at the Fashion Police...

Plastic surgery overdose but the wrinkles are still there!

A warning to us all. ALWAYS check your makeup before you leave the house

A fringe please!

On one occasion, Joan Rivers had the audacity to insult Angelina Jolie looks by saying she’s fed up of seeing her face with "those lips that look like she’s stuck her ass on her face" (trying not to laugh)…Well I say, at least her beautiful face is her own – that insult was mild and quite funny but she went on to say stuff about her kids – not cool. Most of the time she hurls outrageous insults (for ratings), which are just so out of order that they aren’t funny. Does anyone know what her real face used to look like? I don’t. I searched Google endlessly and this is what I found?! The first pic I assume is already some way into her surgeries and the others are so you can all see how really stylish she is!!

Next is Kelly Osbourne, well, well, well! How on planet earth did she get the gig? It really is about who you know. She has said a lot on the show about stars trying to be something they’re not and she has also said sexy doesn’t have to mean looking slutty. Pot/kettle Kel? 

Take a look folks, because I’m confused?                         

Sexy or slutty?

What is this?           

Is this the right style for your height and shape? No no no. 

I see Guiliana Rancic as a poor man’s Victoria Beckham. In that she has a hot husband, tries too hard to look beautiful, stylish and perfect 24 hours a day - fake hair, fake tan etc. you know what I mean. Let’s give her a chocolate chip cookie for effort. She often says that she’s tired of seeing this or that look. Well, we’re tired of seeing your legs all the time on the show. Change it up please!

Interesting number and fake tan overload

ummm another interesting number

I'm bored now *yawn*

 I can’t fathom how George got this gig either? This stylist (?!) has zero - that’s zilch dress sense, he seems like a sweet guy but hello hellOOO!
Love the cardi!

Are you related to Peter Andre? And is that jacket pleather?

Umm what look were you going for here George?

Maybe they could all be replaced with people who even when they get it wrong, look pretty damn good. For instance, Charlize Theron instead of Kelly, Sofia Vergaro instead of Guiliana, and Joan Rivers could be replaced with anyone with a sharp wit and a normal face! Jeannie Mai would be great instead of George to represent a real style expert. How insecure would that make them feel? 

Gosh, it's really quite hard to be this mean.

Rumour has it the celebs are playing it safe, apparently scared of getting roasted by Joan and co. Wake up people! (Hard slap in the face) Don't worry about what they think or say. 

Aficionados of fashion – I think not.

The verdict:  
GUILTY as charged for:

  • Continuously going below the belt with insults that aren’t even related to fashion/style
  • Calling out people for misgivings they have too
  • Not having a natural style eye
  • Not taking a good long look in the mirror before judging anyone else or leaving the house
  • Not practicing what they preach

    The sentencing (constructive advice) as follows:

    Kelly: go darker with your hair, stick to edgy, punky or retro looks for your clothing – these seem to suit you best – your choices are limited, don’t try to be too fashionable or dress too old for your age.

    Guiliana: also go darker you’re way too blond at the moment (colour in middle pic below is a good balance), a more relaxed look in your clothing really suits you, rock more longer lengths – you can. No need to show skin all the time. 

    George: Just get yourself a good stylist to help find your sense of style.

    Joan: Stop drowning your body in oversized accessories from your jewellery line – enough already with top-half overload and the constant product placement. Be brave and let the cameramen shoot you from longer distances. It will take the focus off your face.

    Fashion Police striking a pose!

    A good look
    A good look 

    Seriously though, what's needed on an influential show as E! Fashion Police are real experts who deliver constructive fashion critique and advice. What do you think?

     Picture sourced from Google images


    Tori Mistick said...

    HA! This post cracks me up! I totally agree with you that Giulianna is hardly a fashion expert, she needs to lay off the spray tan and eat something!

    But I do love Kelly's style and Joan is my idol!

    One Girl's Wanderlust / Moda de la Mode said...

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    Camillea said...

    Hi! I'm honoured thank-you very much :)